At sheringham paper, norfolk uk

@ Sheringham Community Paper - Issue 109 - 15 January 2010

Hear sayHEAR-SAY

Happy New Year! And welcome to a shivery start to the new decade. Yes as you must be aware the weather has been even colder than the shoulders of the get Gordy out campaigners at Westminster. Still, we have all been able to make a seasonal snowman donned with hat and scarf, carrot, and sprouts for eyes, (No more pieces of coal, as who has any of that these days?) And yes I did actually trek down the garden in my thermals to demonstrate to the next generation as to the finer points of how it was to be done. Only to find the ruddy stuff too powdery to roll and so it was that the mammoth task of snow gathering took place and the monument was completed just in time for the weather to turn to rain. Laugh? I could have cried. If my tear ducts had have thawed out sufficiently but alas they didn't and nor did I - for a very long time.

Talking of long times. It seems that there is movement of groundworks along the Weybourne Road, just past the Splash leisure pool and allotments. Presumably to make ready for the alleged movement of the same said allotment plots to make way for the alleged new super green store run by Waitrose. Geared up by the anti Tesco brigade to fuel "one in the eyes" for those that dared be on the Tesco side. I guess that might be better than a Subway smack bang in the middle of the town to compliment the already vastly oversubscribed takeaways and food outlets that already exist. Around thirty as it stands already operate within a half -mile radius of the town clock. But where oh where is Macdonalds? Please! Someone up there hear my plea.

Mind you with the closing of our police station and the need for more than one bobby on the beat in a thirty-mile radius, maybe that could be a better other use for the town clock. Surely to save money and to ensure a police presence in the centre of town we could convert the town clock into a police box sanctuary to keep the local bobby on the beat dry and warm during the snow, and it could also double up as a mini Mac "D's during the time he or she is out on the razzle - I mean on his or her patch preventing heinous crime. Late afternoon revellers from the pantomime could console themselves with a Big Mac and medium fries drowning their disbelief at the thespian stuff and nonsense just witnessed in the name of family entertainment during the afternoon matinee.

People could flock for a cheese melt and a mini bag of carrot and a macflurry for afters, in the interval whilst the unsuspecting audience queue up for an age for a mint cornetto and a tub with the guess where the spatula is attached game for good measure. All is in the name of good fun, likewise is the news that the good second home owners of Snafell Park, Holway Road, Sheringham have been refused a grit bin for use in the icy conditions.

In fact according to the paper report the council told them they might as well buy their own the good that asking for one has done them. After all, and I can see the Mayor's point, if you buy one for one lot then you've got to do it for everyone and that would cost, well, loads to be frank, and that would never do would it. Especially in times of recession and that. Just think if every street had one then someone would have to be responsible for filling it up from time to time, check it for contents from time to time, and heaven forbid remove the rubbish from it when it's empty and replaced with tin cans, beer bottles and babies nappies as in the case of the one at the base of Cliff Road. Tut! Whatever next? We'll be having Sheringham on ice style skating rinks in the street next. What's that you cry? Oh yes we've already had those.

Down just about every highway and byway in the town, bar the ones the councillors need cleared to ensure they can get to the office, or not as the case very often has been lately. You naughty people you. And you know who you are don't you? In fact me thinks that the back streets of the town were gritted almost as often it would seem the top Holt - Cromer Road at times. I followed with interest on more than one occasion a gritter with lights flashing etc. only to witness with mine eyes not so much as fresh air emanating from the gritter at the back of said contraption. I have heard of economising in my time but that just bought the biscuit, and I don't mean the chocolate Hobnobs! Especially in times of hardship.

Anyway I digress. So there you have it. Some failures all round me fears but there you are, none of us are perfect and I happen to know some of those lads were out almost round the clock on £300 quid a day spraying the roads with special invisible salt shipped in from Narnia no doubt. But there you are, we survive these things and so now we can all sit back, enjoy the daylight hours increasing by the day. Ecstatic in the knowledge that we are soon to have a general government clearout-I mean election. And fully embracing the notion that soon to bestow us are Valentines Day, Mothers Day and Easter. Whoopee!

Commercialism, don't you just love it?

Well sadly that's about it folks for this time. I'd like to wish you one and all a Happy New Year and above all a healthy and prosperous one, in, what is for many now, a very troublesome time fiscally. I hope that we all get through these difficult times with the reverence and self respect many of our leaders and elected brethren have failed to show in recent times. I drink to better times. Cheers to one and all. To everyone. Till next time now take care. Vic.