HEAR'SAY

Good'ay Cobbers Suppa day ta'day, and hello darlings to this, yet another one of my raging columns! Indeed, As many of my reader fans and close friends will argue, my column has remained steadfast and upright for some time now. Yes in this changing world of unreliability and robotic automated answering machines I'd like to think at least I have been consistent. Even if I have sounded rather Meldrewesque by nature. Never mind I thought this time, just for fun, I'd take on an Ossie tone. So For all those Bruces and Sheilas out there this is dedicated to you. And I guess me thinks one of the things Sheringham has in common with everything down under is that Sheringham in some ways resembles Skippy the kangaroo - As what ever happens he keeps bouncing back to resolve the day. As the Tesco debate will out. Now Skippy bless him, for those of you out there old enough to remember, had no voice except he just blew kisses all the time into camera and tutted a lot. Not unlike a few celebrities and Commons representatives we have today. And just maybe that is what they should have done in the Tesco debating chamber all those years ago. I am, for my sins also old enough to remember the song where have all the flowers gone? And somewhere in amongst those lyrics is the line 'when will they ever learn when will they ever learn'? - Oh how true. Yes indeed, when will they ever learn - the powers on high that is, who think that ripping out that hedge along Ottendorf Green was in some way a good idea. Indeed now we have a beautiful manicured lawn, a wobbly light antique pine stained rail and a circular feature that resembles a crude fountain basin. Yes, before you start writing in, it is going to be a seating area. If it isn't already before this goes to press. In fact the towns folk have been polled at "Crowes " as to what colour of Granite we would like. Certainly on the day I looked, pink seemed to be the preferred colour. Lovely! Soon we'll all be able to enjoy a little circular chat area resembling a Roman communal latrine. My question is, will it also have underground heating, flushing water and a Barbie appreciation society corner in to the bargain. And talking of running water - I thought that is what it should have been - an open-air water feature complete with fountain! Yes at last, I thought Sheringham could have its very own Trafalgar Square. Just think of the fun on News Years Eve all the Sheringham revellers would have at half past ten (no one's up after that around here). It could serve also a dual purpose, in the summer it could pose as an overspill site for the model boating lake. But during drought times could pose as a collection point for all unwanted cigarette butts after July 1st as this would be the only open aired collective space available in the town centre. Yep I can see it now duplicity is the key. As will be the option when the lads lose their footballs to the railway line, they'd be able to carry on practising their skills on the beds of petunias. I used to enjoy the old hedge as it obliterated from view from the road and the bus shelter and anyone who couldn't be bothered to walk the extra ten yards to the public lavatory! Back to the latrine theme again! Still as humour goes that kind of gag goes straight down the pan as it were. Don't you just find this whole thing just a tinsy winsy bit curious? I mean isn't it all a little bit obvious that clearing this area is just another precursory step toward to the rail line going through by the back door so to speak. If they keep chipping away at the ground, before long they'll just turn round and say well there's not much there now anyway so why not send in the Hogwarts Express. It's only a matter of time. I don't know - common sense in some areas is about as rare as a politician not claiming their expenses or one of the big brand name stores actually delivering what you ordered!

Well moving on and I trust you all went out and enjoyed your St. George's day off in the sunshine? No? Well that doesn't surprise me, as few would actually know when it was. As the 23rd of April was a Monday it would have made sense to call an unofficial bank, or in these days, a working class holiday. Sadly I'm afraid according to some political critics and enumerators in officialdom there is no longer a middle class. Apparently an objective of the Blaire-ite camp as all those Daily Mail readers will quantify that fact. And it is with this on my mind I can't help but think where have they all gone? Many I suppose have left the country for warmer climes in Spain, Australia and Bournemouth. Some I suspect, pretend to be poor but have successfully hidden their assets in off shore accounts. Others me thinks have been taxed out of earning a living and priced out of the possibility of ever owning property, even if you happen to be in one of the old "traditional professional" groups. Also now we have a state that wants everyone to rely on handouts of some sort or other. It wants even moderate earners to bid for umpteen kinds of tax credits. And why? Well so they can control and manipulate, and how better to manipulate the populous than through the fiscal household accountancy of every individual in the land.