HEAR'SAY

Well here we are again, and how these months come round quickly. But sadly, as I write this, the news just about everywhere is not so good. The loss of Pavorotti, umpteen shootings up and down the land, and now new outbreaks of foot and mouth. Which, incidentally some politicians, as well as me, are eminently good at - that is to say that often when they open their mouths they invariably put their foot in it! Well I guess it will all blow over in a good sow westerly. Now talking of wind, (and for once I'm not talking about the hot air between the Crab war Factions between Sheringham and Cromer), I see that again the papers are full of our proposed wind farm off Sheringham. The plan being to bring the energy on shore at Weybourne. Well I guess we have to have a bright spark somewhere in Norfolk. And not before time if you ask me. (That is the wind farm and not the bright spark - oh never mind you know what I mean). Any way we have embarked on this topic many times in past editorials. I just think that it would be great so long as we, (the good people of North Norfolk and Sheringham) got a little something out of it. Like a little bit of free lecky for instance, not much but lets say enough to energise the mobility chair for a run into town every week for a start. Or how about a wider community project for communal decorated lights at Christmas, and let's not forget the power for an all important electric seat warmer at Shering-Henge during the Winter months. A frost free zone for tired posteriors would be a very comforting feature. Especially for all those in need of postural refreshment during a hard pre Christmas sale bargain shop. Really I suppose in a perfect world, instead of having enormous unsightly erections (wind farms) off the coast filling our seas with concrete or some man made polymer, which would create even more hazards for drunken Sea skippers to avoid, we ought to have just one single large Windy Miller turbine in every village and township across the length and breadth of the land. Now there's yet another use for my great tower project I proposed in last month's issue. I'd like to propose we linked it up to a great big magnet machine that immediately scooped up off the streets anyone screaming down Station Road at more than the legal speed limit. And we could top up the national Grid and earn money for the town in times of a gale force 10. We could all be given a share. I for one would like to purchase with mine a small but heavy armoured tank. So that as this week when it seemed, a thousand and one absent minded drivers just pulled out at you from all sides and than slammed on the brakes in the town only to block your passage for half an hour, I felt I wanted to do something drastic. I wouldn't have minded but they had stopped to chat in the street to yet more inconsiderate motorists about the price of fish. Well it may not have been fish exactly but you see what I'm getting at. It is at this point one wishes that they had said armoured vehicle so that one could run straight over the top. Likewise when confronted on many a back street corner these days with double parked vehicles, it would be so nice if One could drive straight through the gap rather than reconsider ones route. It must be by sheer luck that so far there hasn't been a need for an emergency vehicle in these parts in a hurry as I'm sure that someone at sometime is going to lose out in the delay caused by this parking mania. And as if that isn't enough for this road raged writer i.e., me! I am now paranoid enough to believe that after this year's summer season of jay walking idiots, with their heads full of sand and ice cream, were trying their best to get themselves run down by me personally. I am convinced that their air head minds are full of thoughts of where to get their wigs waxed and what's for lunch instead of exactly where they were in relation to Her Majesties highway. Indeed I am incredulous to believe that very few of them had actually been run over in the squash to get through the amusement straits on the way to the beach before now. That said of course that kind of crowding is a sure sign that Sheringham has become a victim of it's own success. And that me in my new armoured car would not go down well with the carbon footprint brigade anyway. So it's likely that I shall have to go out and buy myself one of those new flying cars that now go on sale in America. Yes only in America could they think of that one. That's it, not satisfied with congesting up and polluting the ground, but now they want to jam up the skies as well.