HEAR'SAY

Hearty and healthy Hearsay greetings my little Sheringham friends. And welcome to this, the New Year of 2008. Well whether your Christmas festivities were as fraught as an African election or as happy as an Oxford Street handbag salesman during a 3am Xmas sale bonanza, I wish us all a very happy and prosperous year ahead. Before I run into the general tirade of abuse that usually befits this column I must firstly say a few words of thanks and gratitude to some of the folks that made my Christmas this year especially worthwhile. And yes, this is one of my New Year's resolutions!

There now follows the 12 days of Christmas thank you list according to Vic.

The first Brownie point must go to Iccy the butcher for the sale of a most splendiferous selection of Christmas meats and poultry, free from all bird flu and salmonella. In fact I can safely say that I have never had a tastier bird for years, but don't tell the other half! Though the plastic holly sprig was a trifle chewy!

Secondly, thanks also go to the efforts of the Winter-tide thespians at the Little Theatre whose efforts were literally dwarfed by the children and were excellent although I did suffer from a little numb bum solitus!

Thirdly A big thank you goes to those towns folk that bothered to grace us with lights and displays. They all cheered the very cockles of my heart through the darkest, longest days of Christmas.

Fourthly, thanks go to Woolworth's who so pleasingly cleared their shelves of all Christmas fare on Christmas Eve; well almost except for that gargantuan pile of crackers by the door. There's nothing like moving on quickly to the next trend in business is there? No Easter eggs as yet though!

Fifthly, well in the song at this point we had gold rings, and where would the men of Sheringham have been if it weren't for the splendid friendly faces of the girls in Parris's jewellers. Yes I know you can get all you want from Argos but those smiles you most definitely don't!

Sixthly, my favours must go to one of the most happiest, busiest, gossipy burger basher in the town. Also well known for being one of the smelliest (Yummiest bacon smells before I get any letters) first thing in the mornings too, Yes Roy Boys café has to be on your 2008 must try before you die list!

At Number Seven collectively the gift shops of various quality need some recognition. Mike at Crowes has taken some stick from me in the past all be it indirectly (but really, and I say this with tongue in cheek, you shouldn't be involved with so many public projects that put you in the firing line should you?) But hey, in these times of good will to all men and all that, I forgive you for being so publicly spirited. Perhaps it's about time you had your call from the Queen. I'll make a note to self to inform Her Majesty. Just as soon as I get back from my African/ Middle Eastern peace mission with Mr Blare!
Any way I digress, Oh yes at Number Eight, please raise your hats for the East Anglian Air Ambulance service, who have contributed to the nursemaiding of drunken idiots whilst trying to do a job of public service to the seriously medically needy! Bravo to them and not one with a decent pay rise for the foreseeable future just think on that when the footie clubs next agree the next 100k a week wage bills for kicking a light plastic ball around a field in calf skin boot!

At Number nine congratulations must go to the government for having no control over the sale and amounts of alcohol that could be sold by the big stores to the public, and most of it for under 70 pence a pint. The police must love you.