Page 3, At Sheringham paper, Norfolk UK

HEAR'SAY

Seasonal greetings my snow bound icelings, and how was your Easter for you? I must admit that after I heard the weather forecast for the holiday weekend I was about as miffed as a few top-ranking cabinet ministers being told that their perks were going to be made public knowledge. Poor things I don't know how they'd cope without the odd ten thousand here and there each year for the new kitchen refit. And my, how could the wives live without the taxi fares and hair-do's? And it all comes out of the pot I contribute to for my pension and my annual get well card from the local Doctors! It's no wonder there's nothing left in the kitty for my old age. And to make matters worse, after giving us all an extra day in every four years they go and take an hour of my well earned sleep! Mind you they go and give it back to me in the autumn so I guess even time isn't exempt from government borrowing. Never mind eh, I have a glimmer of a suspicion that their time in office just may be of the borrowed sort itself.

Seriously though, this flaming changing of the clock farce has always puzzled me. As in previously editions this issue has been debated several times. I can understand that during the last world war many folks were patriotic enough just to do as they were told without question. And most probably most of them had hardly any electric let alone digital alarm clocks with personal computer secretaries. But, honestly these days, if one needed to make the most of the dawn chorus two hours before the good Lord intended, just tell the working lads and lassies to get out of bed a bit earlier. Or better still Order the Sally Ann marching band when they're not parading about the town at unearthly hours of Christmas and Easter mornings! I'm sorry to be a bore about it, but if any other local persuasion took it upon themselves to parade about the streets extolling their every belief or fancy be it religious or not, I somehow don't think they'd get away with it. After all I might just start up the Sid Vicious appreciation society with the intention of defecating the streets with anarchy anthems from the Sex Pistols greatest hits, just to observe how the other half appreciate the different point of view. Or even worse the best of Flannigan and Allen! And even I couldn't do that to my fellow subjects.

I see from my observations about the place that demolition work has started in Melbourne Road on the site of the old dairy and also it is being debated about the outcome of the Central Garage site all for more flats of course. Still if it means some cheaper affordable housing for some of the LOCALS TO LIVE IN! Then that idea won't go amiss. And something else that was "unmissable", though sadly several did on the first night that I was there, probably due to weather etc. was the Amateur dramatic show at the Little Theatre over the Easter weekend. Absent friends. What can I say slight line fluffs and a slight sense of first night panic soon gave way to a truly well deserved clap at the end I was going to give them a standing ovation but my knees got stuck in the lack of gap in the seat! But well worth the concession price as usual.

Even though the weather was bad this holiday we welcomed the first of the hardiest visitors of the season. Surviving, as they do on a mix of good old fish and chips and thermal drawers. Yes these tough caravan dwellers battle every year with the early storms to defy common sense and continue to enjoy all that the bracing North Norfolk coast can offer. They are a breed unto themselves. For these stalwarts somehow manage to save some of their holidays from last year so they have enough left to come for an early Easter. Despite some of the fiercest wind and freezing temperatures they still manage to eat ice cream in a force ten gale. They also manage to keep cheerful and persistently deny the pleasures of the bed and breakfast community despite having their nylon sheet flattened and blown half way to Norway during the night in a whiteout. They amaze us with their craving for chips and their lust for anything in a pie. In fact anything with pastry. We are greeted with many local colloquialisms and are mystified by the meaning of Ta Ra a bit! And Owmutch?! Still they enrichen us with their presence enlighten us with their knowledge of all things of local interest, and amuse, bemuse and charm us with their insatiable appetite for life. Personally a month on a cruise in the Caribbean would be more conducive for a happier me. Sadly however I shall have to battle on serving the aforesaid clients for some years to come before I can afford to bestow such self induced luxury on my person. But will do so unbegrudgingly and probably for as long as it takes our government to take pity on me and nationalise my business! Well its time to go again. I do hope you had a good start to the season happy St George's day to you all, just in case I don't get a word in before then. And take care now. Vic.