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HEAR'SAY
I've only one thing to say; bring back Val Doonigan! … Sorry, just fell off my
barstool and bumped my head in a fit of laughter. Yes a fit of laughter as I read about
the proposals that Sheringham Common is about to have a large circuitous erection! (That's
a big fence to you and me). |
Now I haven't had such a laugh since I watched the
Brownies' Gang Show up at the High School. Now there was an effort and a half worth
talking about. I only hope the new Rep Company at our Little Theatre will be half as
impressive. With the colourful costumes the boys and girls (large and small) had a great
time however evident that some were more natural artists than others. But who could fault
the little darlings and all in aid of a new disabled toilet block for the brownie hut.
Well done to one and all, it was four quid well spent. At least when they've raised the
four grand's worth of pennies, Sheringham folk will know where to go to spend one! There
are plans I see to close all but a few of our conveniences due to the cost of repairs
through vandalism etc. Obviously they have not seen/read my design notes in Issue 2.
Now to get back on track, those in the know, yes those powers at the top again, have
contrived in their machinations to erect a boundary structure. This matriculation of the
same said powers, I believe would achromatically alter the way in which we enjoy our view
of this beloved beauty spot. We are told, like little children that we'll be allowed,
ALLOWED for heaven sake, to tender our livestock there. Yes all those of us who tether
goats cows etc in our back yards can troop along there with permission, we can tender
anything and everything from Gazelles to Giraffes but absolutely no Sheep! Apparently
these creatures would be Baaaahrred from the area (sorry, couldn't resist it) as they eat
some of the protected endangered flower species that "thrive there", (not that
endangered then). However, that said I'm very excited as this next idea has been bubbling
about in my cerebral nooks and crannies for some time. Instead of just fencing off the
common, we could take it one step further, here is the perfect opportunity to reinstate
Sheringham's Zoo or at least a wildlife park. The older folks have been harping on about
it for long enough and believe me, there's plenty of wild life goings-on on the common
after dark (so I'm told).
People could and would come from miles around to see foxes in their natural habitat go
about their daily business of scavenging and killing just about every bantam for thirty
miles. Instead of chasing these poor things within an inch of their lives to be savaged
and ripped apart by a pack of hounds, we could instead, watch them being fed to the lions
at meal times along with badgers, hares and ruddy ducks. Our park or zoo could have
National Park status; after all we already have a large protected reptile section.
Currently predominantly consisting of fifty thousand vipers (or adders to the rest of us)
that are free to wiggle and bite whom and what they like at will. Now that the managed
area, you know the one, where there isn't a tree left in sight, is left devoid of anything
remotely reminiscent of what the common used to be like, we could have on this spot, a
rare breed section, comprising of rare and endangered species. (No, not those resigning
cabinet ministers who are against the war). This would consist of enclosures for the
lesser-spotted road and beach cleaners. The latter is mostly reliant on a volunteer force,
who, from time to time collect enough dumped North Sea container ship rubbish to fill a
hole the size of the chancellor's war chest. Also, there might be an enclosure for the
almost extinct and previously mentioned rarity of an open non-vandalised public lavatory,
at the moment it seems they're even scarcer than Sadam's declared weapons of mass
destruction. We could have a cage for the rarest of motorists who consider local residents
and actually don't park and leave their cars all day across people's driveways. Yes, I can
see it now, the royal opening day patronised by their highnesses the Town Crier |
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and our very own Mr. Major, who between them would
actually add colour and gaiety to the occassion. We could also have a rare breed breeding
programme. The endangered numbers of the Preservation Society and SCAMROD could be
crossbred with visiting signatories to one petition or another and to save their numbers
perhaps they could pool their jean base with the ever-dwindling sell the St. Peter's
Church Hall supporters. Who knows with all this genetic engineering between them, some one
might actually "receive the light and preserve the ideology of Tescos"? Talking
of which the siting of this subject has somewhat perplexed me. After all the arguments are
whether or not we place the thing in or out of the town centre, supposing we actually we
want it at all. The siting depends on where the town centre actually is, I was recently
informed that because of its shape, geographically Sheringham's Town Centre lies just
around the site of Edgebrook Flats in Holway Road. Spitting distance one could argue from
the designated Hilbre site, so after pacing it out a couple of times I think they're
probably about right.
By this reckoning the town centre "plaza" should be there at Hilbre, of course
we could start by creating, as I have already stated in previous editions (Issue No.7) a
new Mall of shops on this site. Including a food outlet, where one doesn't have to fight
over the right to be served in the lengthy strenuous, three deep, queues. As this spot is
equidistant from Sheringham's boundaries, SCAMROD folk might well be pleased to fight for
a Town Centre store here, no one as yet has mentioned that houses can't surround it have
they? Up until now this outlet was to be placed as near to the town clock or Little
Theatre as pos. So I suppose ideally all those poor car-less, stretched armed pedestrians
who live in the outer boundaries south of Cromer Road would need to enlist the help of
Star Trek's Mr Scottie to carry back all their shopping from "this" town centre.
Oh well another use for the town clock perhaps? Actually have you noticed the front steps
of Hunts look remarkably similar to the real thing? Spooky! Well that's it for this week.
I've got to see how my "Clingons" are doing….. I left my tight leathers at
the cleaners. Be good for now Vic.
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I'm
moving to the real
Centre of Sheringham |
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Sheringham Civic Association Marketing
Real Old Dinosaurs - Please Note |
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