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Hello and welcome to hearsay number 14. And
yes, look at this, six months have gone already since I penned the first hearsay. What's
that? Too long if you ask me I hear some of you groan. "All Vic does is complain and
grump about things" Well I, in all honesty have only one thing to say about that. Too
right! |
And what is more whilst some folk continue to warrant
comments about their actions I have to continue to comment as I see fit. It seems that in
this town for the time being, I'll never be short of material to scribe about. Grumpily or
other wise. Generally mind you, most things that come to ingratiate mine ears tickle my
sense of humour. Yes I do have one. All be it, buried deep far beneath that hard, bitter
exterior. Actually someone told me once, long ago, that actually I was a very cheerful
person. Mostly at any rate!
However to column reading fans. And I'm told on good authority, I do actually have one. I
do apologise if the last one or two editions of Hearsay have suggested that I may have
joined "The old grump of the year society". Along with, may I say, the rest of
those members of our community that are wholly and categorically against our ideologist
council's ideas for us having wheelie bins. Yes those delightful waste consultants, who
suggest we dispose of our over-packaged household waste in lovely green square bins twice
a month might have at last thought of something useful. But one does have to have the
space to store them. It would of course stop the marauding tide of cats, squirrels and
foxes that rip the liners open and feast on its contents over-night when we leave them out
for the collection cart. Personally I'm in favour. At last someone's put some thought
finally into designing a waste receptacle big enough to dispose of the Mother-in-law in
one go. And judging by the copious amounts of rubbish that was left behind on our streets
from our lovely Easter visitors, it looks as if we're all going to need the extra space
these bigger bins have to offer. Isn't it a shame that there weren't three varieties
really? One for recycled items, one for general waste, and one for all those naughty
little vandal imps caught in the act of practising their penalty swing kicks on our street
traffic bollards!
Only the other day I was thinking to myself (no friends you see to speak of) Isn't it
wonderful how the tourist information board, the N.N.D.C. And the other countless hundreds
of holiday home letting agents advertise, or indeed sell our sleepy little town to the
masses. Generally by way of profound statements and facts proclaiming Sheringham's assets
to the wider populous. It always fills me with awe and wonderment at how fine these
holiday brochures make us all out to be to the unsuspecting holidaying family. So much so
that they do in fact end up being lured by overwhelming temptation to fork out up to 600
smackeroonies a week! For a small one/two bedroomed cottage sleeping SIX with added bed
shelf!? During the height of the season. Check it out for yourselves. Any brochure from
any travel agents will confirm all you need to know. It amazes me that folk adorn in their
minds eye, this idyllic backdrop image of sea and fauna in a rolling rural landscape,
unspoilt and unchanged since Nelly the mammoth came to an icy demise at the end of the
last ice-age. And so with this nostalgic perception, these visitors, quite understandably,
are drawn to our well "sold", " under funded from Europe", "Large
food outlet-less", tea and sandwiched den of gluttony, we love as Sheringham, like
the vandals are drawn to working lit traffic bollards.
It seems that a working one if you can find one, acts as a lure like a light bulb attracts
summer moths after dark. These creatures (not the moths) must queue in turn for hours,
just to have a go at defiling and raising to the ground these structures in their
thousands. Wherever you go, and our town is no exception, one can see up-turned
"arrowed" bollard tops lying across the road. |
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I have come to the conclusion that this reputed pastime
has grown to be somewhat of an occupation for some. So much so, to see one lit in perfect
working order is about as surprising as finding a bunny from Amsterdam in your Easter
bouquet. Or indeed a queueless post office at first light opening on pension day!
Someone's getting (quite literally) a big kick out of this ruse. Unless of course I've
gone and misread the whole thing. Perhaps instead they're being knocked over by all those
little old ladies who can't quite see through the steering wheel, who mistakenly believe
the bollards to be the entrance to a drive- thro MacDonald's. Or indeed any private or
municipal car park as the slight scraping sound and the gentle bump of the bumper would
have little or no effective reaction to these dear old sweethearts. The other alternative
reason for the bollard damage could be due to the nocturnal habits of the giant Easter
bunny playing ten pin bowling with the tooth fairy. At least the tooth fairy might be able
to raise the 750 quid cash that bunny needs for a stay of execution! Maybe the bunny club
could come to the rescue? On the other hand perhaps not in Sheringham. But at least it
would have plenty of friends.
Which is precisely what our prospective carnival queens need if they are to secure their
place in the final selection process. Yep it seems to me that it all depends on how well
liked you are, and how many friends you can persuade to vote for you that counts. There
you are, and I thought you had to be pretty for that job. Silly me. Still scope for me yet
then. I just wonder then, that if the same principals and same selection democratic
process were afforded to our current monarky whether her majesty would approve?
Oh well I say good luck to them all. Just a little thought though I am open to bribery and
corruption. And my vote will cost a fiver, just drop it in at the office. ONLY KIDDING!
Well better nip off now to wax my kneecaps, might even enter myself who knows. Toodle loo
Vic. |
In your compilation of negative thoughts under the pseudonym of 'Vic' (I cannot
believe that one person has such a negative approach to life in Sheringham) it is
suggested that the origin of Daylight Saving is in the second world war. The first
Daylight Saving Bill was in 1916. In 1925 there was further legislation which set the
dates for the clock changes. The dates have now been rationalised across Europe.
Peter Richardson |
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Hello
I am trying to trace where a company called Sports Posters has gone. They used to
distribute educational posters for use in schools - I have a few and want to expand my
collection. They used to be at 9 Holt Road in Sheringham in the 70's, but I don't know
what happened to them. The posters were printed at a printers called Tarryton Type Ltd -
does anybody know of this company too? Any information would certainly help. Thanks.
Mark Wood. |
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