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Hello and how are yuh 'alagether? And the
heartiest and merriest summer greetings to you all in this, the 17th of the mighty hearsay
columns.
Yes at last summer has finally arrived and has been beautifully typical of the Great
British climate. |
Two days of sunshine followed by the monsoon season!
Thunder and lightening, very very frightening momma mia! Yes well, sorry
about that, got carried away by a little queen (not literally you understand) the pop
group. However this Sunday my musical interlude was somewhat interrupted by "the hail
storm of the decade" with hailstones that big, they alone, could have easily been
responsible for the smashing up the public loos behind YESU the other week. Alas not,
though. That was due to the lesser act of God-less-ness known by its' other name
"Give it some, like", unfortunately the task of catching them is all but down
the pan, perhaps the general public will be able to flush them out eventually. Sorry,
better still maybe our volunteer boys and girls in blue in the "special
constabulary" will be able to hunt them down. Though perhaps not on foot as this
would incur far too much shoe wear to be effectual. It seems that their yearly well-earned
£30.00 boot leather allowance is likely to be taken away from them. So it looks as if
they'll have to do their rounds riding horseback. And where better place to start than
here in sunny Sheringham. Yes you've guessed it Sheringham's very own Carnival Pantomime
donkey derby is almost upon us. So there's no excuses, come on you lot out there it's time
to get cracking and make those cossys. I am led to believe that anything goes as long as
it can walk on all fours. No I don't mean any of those drunken folk on a Friday night
gallivanting about outside our alcohol free zones. No I mean good old-fashioned fun. Oh
just a thought. How about asking the Frinton Summer season lot to join in? Perhaps they
might even have a panto horse or two in their wardrobe ready and waiting to be unleashed?
(Rest assured, that whatever the final result of this season maybe, whether they're
winners or not, you could argue that at least it came straight from the horses mouth.) Due
to certain insurance technicalities, we can't have our pram race or even the annual
"see who's hair we can set alight to tonight" torchlight procession, any more,
so this should be the event of the year. Quite frankly, looking around town there's
certainly no shortage of silly asses about. It's time to dig out those short summer mini
skirt frocks, put on those lace-holed, black stockings, smear on copious amounts of slap
and lippy and dress up for Carnival Day, and after the lads have done their bit I reckon
the ladies should make an effort as well. Oh I can see the fun and frolics now. Oh and
before I forget the idea of a decorated umbrella parade in place of the torchlight may
seem a bit bland but it'll be very colourful and perfectly kitted out if it rains. I just
wish they'd bring back a bit of music and jollification to the proceedings. So go on, be
daring and join in, you know you want to, and remember, your town and carnival committee
needs you!
Now then where was I? Oh yes this week's avid topic of conversation, not surprisingly, has
been the weather. Warm enough it seems for many local and holidaying folk alike to venture
into our (freezing 9 degrees) of North Sea. Still thankfully many countless thousands of
folk flock down to our beaches to enjoy the sand and sea and all the other delights that
the seaside has to offer. Mr Whippi ice cream and a chocolate flake for one! Mind you,
sand in your sandwiches and other delicate bits is a bit of a turn off but who cares? It
hasn't stopped the trippers coming down. So many in fact that it takes longer to walk up
to the town clock from the seafront or vice-versa, than it does for the road repair men to
finish that wretched hole in Beeston Road at the junction with the Avenue. The water-board
started it, but nobody's bothered to finish the job yet! Isn't it wonderful, whenever we
ask about such anomalies that the answer we very nearly always get is that "That's
nothing to do we us, that's "somebody's" else's department". |
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I for one, wish I knew who the "somebody" was!
Then we could all get hold of the respective responsible person/s to ask him/her/them, to
politely do something about it. Before incidentally, any more 4 inch midgets fall in and
break a toe or something. Yes it's not even a deep hole it's just not finished! A bit like
Mr. Beckham's hairdo. As I was saying, isn't it also peculiar that whenever we call anyone
in authority querying anything they almost make out this "Somebody or Someone"
to be an actual person or persons? I.E. Mr. Nobody, Mr. Somebody Else etc. etc. the list
is endless of these name and faceless officials and they all seem to be running the
country. Now how does that little ditty go? Let me see, ah yes, something like this if I
remember: One day "somebody" gets a call on the phone from "someone"
saying that "everyone" had called him to say that there was a hole in the road
and could "anybody" fix it? It didn't really matter who fixed it just as long as
it was fixed. But the thing was that "everybody" said it was
"somebody's" day off so "somebody" couldn't do it. "Anybody"
could help "someone" as long as "everybody" did something. So in the
end "everybody" and "everyone" got together with "anybody"
and "everybody" over a cup of tea until "someone" persuaded
"everyone" "nobody" should do it! And good on him ". So there you
have it, Nobody is going to fix it. Honest! Oh how the inner weels of authority grind ever
onward for the good of mankind and my indigestion! So someone, whoever you are, be a
darling and fix it PLEASE! See you all soon and get cracking on those costumes. Vic
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| ANON our cartoonist has been in hospital, as we were not
expecting a cartoon, it is on page 6 for this issue. We would like to send him/her our
best wishes for a speedy recovery |
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Staffordshire Bull Terriers
One of the most misunderstood of all British breeds, the Staffy is almost always destined
to be passed from pillar to post as one unsuitable owner after another loses interest in
them. Popular for their tough appearance they are purchased to enhance their owner's image
and rarely appreciated for their loyalty and affection. Staffies often make very good
family pets and most are good and patient with young children. They do have a tendency to
aggression towards other animals, so essentially need to be socialised from puppyhood at
training classes or parks and woodland with a high population of other dog walkers. We are
almost always looking for genuine Staffy fans to adopt our rescued dogs and to provide
them with the stable home life that they've all lacked in their past. Almost every story
is the same, tales of only having had the dog for a short time and mentions of the last
home or two that the dog had but often there have been so many that they've lost track. A
Staffy by nature, devotes itself to its owner and cannot possibly begin to understand the
betrayal of being given away. Yet no matter how hurt and confused they are they still open
themselves up to being hurt again as they lay down their devotion to someone new within
hours of being adopted. A current inhabitant of our kennels is "Red" who is
around seven years old. In trying to find out more about Red after he arrived we could
only trace back his last four owners. Who knows what he has been through and is it any
wonder that Red is easily stressed out by the kennel environment? He doesn't like other
dogs and now finds himself surrounded by them. He adores the kennel staff and volunteers
but has to share them with thirty other demanding dogs. Red has been with us since May
2002 and has suffered from regular bouts of depression. He may look like a tough and
robust little hard case but he's as emotionally vulnerable as any toy poodle!!! Red
desperately needs to find a permanent home soon, he has so much love to give and it's
really about time his loyalty was repaid by someone giving him not only the chance of a
decent home life but also by sticking by him for the rest of his natural days. If you can
help please call us on 01603 766001.
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