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Hi there folks! Well it seems to be that time
of year again when the ghosties and ghoulies and long leg-edy beasties and things that go
bump in the night start straying out and about onto our streets. |
Alas though, I'm not talking about the hoards of harmless
kiddie winkles donned in "scream masks and black crooked hats. No I'm talking about,
I'm sad to say, a few certain unnamed and unseen mindless individuals who, for what ever
reason can't seem to keep their hands (or feet) off our plastic road bollards. Yes I know
I've mentioned this before in a previous edition, but the problem still keeps, aptly
perhaps, coming back to haunt us. Quite appropriately one might think; as this All Hallows
Eve, is rapidly approaching. This culture of wreaking havoc with these lit plastic
bollards is now somewhat endemic to this area. It seems that a certain mind set find them
irresistible and are drawn to them like children to candy or Mr Bush's forces to any
rumour of W.M.Ds. Like the same said weapons of mass destruction, no one has actually seen
anything. Well the culprits in action any way. Or have they? You see I have a theory about
all this. You see perhaps it's all done by mischievous spectres that stalk the deserted
Sheringham streets at night for long lost down hearted souls. Or the pro Tesco campaigners
if you like, last seen drowning their sorrows. Well at least in places out of sight of the
CCTV cameras with a can of Safeway's own. Maybe it's time to call in the Sheringham Ghost
busting team to see if they can shed any light on the problem. (If you pardon the pun) You
see they may have just the equipment to detect such heinous activity, and finally being
able to answer the riddle of just who are the bollard bashers? Are they raucous
poltergeists of age old fishing folk with a score to settle, hell bent on evil destruction
of all things modern? Perhaps they are spooks from the past who just came out for the
night and felt so at home, as the place hadn't changed at all in so long that they fell
over them laughing. Or perhaps the simple answer is that a few short small boys just
borrowed them as makeshift foot stools to aid as a step up to make for the easy retrieval
of horse chestnuts off the conker trees? Then dizzy with height exhaustion they were
powerless to replace them properly. One other thought is that possibly, due to the new
extortionate rise in our house rates - some poor old second homeowner may just have
borrowed the bulbs from them to hang in the new extension conservatory. Who knows? All I
know is that coming across them all the time, all over the place is very irritating,
especially when one has to swerve to avoid them in places where the road narrows. e.g. by
the doctor's surgery etc. And whether the local constabulary, or the ghost busters find
out who is responsible they should be dealt with in the utmost severity that is deemed fit
in today's modern society. So a nice little bit of gardening and a good talking too are
destined for them there then! Come on Mr. Home Secretary; let's bring back the stocks! And
I don't mean those lovely little highly scented delicate garden flowers that granny had in
her borders either!
So Halloween is upon us again. And it's yet another Americanism that's now very big
business. Forget stocks and shares, property or gold, just shove your hard-earned
ill-gotten gains into pumpkins! There must be millions of them sold every day for weeks
before the big day. All that tasty nutritious pulp just waiting to end up in a gourmet
dish and what do we do with it? Scrape it all out into the bin and shove a candle up its
bum! No wonder the poor thing has an expression on its face like a Labour candidate losing
its seat to the Liberals! And all this trick or treating! Who was the bright spark who
invented that one eh? The best thing for me about "trick or treating" is I get
my treat out of tricking them! Yes one revels in glee when ones sees their bemused little
faces when one demands change from a five pence piece! Only kidding of course! I dunno
though, now I come to mention it, it does have a certain appeal about it. Anyway, I do
hope you have plenty of goodies ready on the night for the little broomstick-clad
darlings. For some however, I am aware that Halloween may not be the most pleasant
experience. |
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As many lonely, vulnerable and elderly people dare not
answer the door during the day these days let alone on a dark winters night to total
strangers dressed as death. But enough about the mother-in-law. So please to those of you
that have to roam and forage for marshmallow swirls, and fizz-dippers, only go and pester
the folk who you know will welcome you. Usually they are the ones, like us, who have spent
a small fortune in time and money preparing and placing in the front room window, a fully
glowing effigy of some one we don't like very much. Don't forget, at this juncture, if
that doesn't satisfy your hankering for revenge; then Nov. the 5th is just round the
corner. When you can play lets launch the "The Isle of Wight yacht race" flare
every hour on the hour just as long as it is after one o clock in the morning. Never mind
Christmas is only a couple of months away. It's a shame really that they can't defer that
one like they have the Tesco decision. What's the betting they'll announce it finally on
April Fools day? Well it's got to be better than the old joke about Budgens wanting to
build a store on our beloved car park. We're going to have to wait a while for that
decision as well. As this time, not satisfied as they are, with the proposals being turned
down several times before, they're now taking it to, and thrashing it out with, the
highest authority in the land. That being Cheri of course? No? Oh well silly me, well it
would be worth a try don't you think?
That's it folks for this time. Don't forget now that we'll be a year old next time so I
thank you for reading and sending in your comments over the year. Happy birthday to me..
Happy birthday to me.. Happy bir.. Sorry about that see you soon. Vic
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SHERINGHAM EVENING W.I.
After volunteering to play "Jerusalem" for us, Chris Weston described his
association with the Norwich Anglican Cathedral as a chorister, server and, for the past
25 years, as steward and assistant organist, with many anecdotes and amusing stories.
Continuing our October meeting, the President welcomed two visitors, whom we hope will
become members. We had taken part in the Town Quiz and would be participating in the
Remembrance Day Parade and Service in Sheringham. Our Macmillan Coffee Morning had raised
£181.25, with thanks to everyone who had supported the event.
Our next meeting will be our AGM on 13th Nov at St. Andrew's Methodist Church Hall at 7.30
pm, followed by light refreshments.
We always welcome new members.
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