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Yule tidings and festive merriment to one and
all with this the Christmas and New Year issue, and what a memorable year it has been as
we end it on a celebratory note with joyous merrymaking in the Christian faith and rampant
commercialism throughout the land. |
Christmas came early this year for some, like our very own
town lights. Especially for the cross-dressing transvestite potter Grayson Perry who
collected a cool 20 K for his/her collection of pornographic cast pots. That is to say the
imagery on the pot was a bit risque and not the general pot's shape! If you get my drift.
Still they'd be no good for me if they don't fit into a microwave! I guess, for once, at
least they were something one could relate to as far as art goes, and they like their
creator in his Alice dress, did add a splash of colour to the competition.
Talking of colour that brings me to our Sheringham Christmas lights and after the initial
timing mix-ups were finally turned on, on Saturday. Bravo to all concerned! What a great
start to the season of goodwill! Now then. Humour me if you will. Just imagine yourself
sitting at a beautiful doily-clad Christmas day lunch table, tucking into one of Bernard's
best butter basted, surrounded by grandma's gargantuan finest china vegetable tureens,
fully laden with plump Norfolk frost hardened sprouts and a tonne of King Edward's
roasties. Ah, the dream Christmas. But what's this we hear? Poor Queenie has to put up
with serving her breakie cereal into her bowl from a lid-less plastic Tupperware box no
less! A definite sign of hard up times? Perhaps they're having to gradually sell off the
silver to help pay for the next generation's further education me thinks. And if that was
indeed the case then one could understandably see why they might not want to join in with
the season's festive fun. But why oh why has the Little Theatre not bothered this year?
Who, at the time of me writing this, well into December now, have not erected one single
bulb or bauble on, in, or around the building? It begs the question, are they just playing
at Scrooge or enacting it? As the latter might explain a definite dearth of it's usual
annual illuminative glorification's. I for one always look forward to watching the fruits
of the volunteers' labours being switched on, with the Little Theatre amongst others,
being the prestigious building sited smack bang in the middle of town. Other large wealthy
institutions have also chosen not to festoon themselves with glowing decor and chasing
illuminations. I just can't understand it. After all forty quid's worth from the cheap
shop would have secured enough sparkle that once switched on, would draw sufficient power
to warrant the premature development of Sheringham's very own offshore wind farm project.
I expect the excuse will be too expensive, didn't have the time or manpower etc etc. Bah
humbug. They'll be telling us next that we'll be having a water shortage next!
That said thank goodness for the people of Lawson Way, who have created a sight to behold.
With enough coloured bulbs that a lost race from a distant planet would be forgiven in
thinking that it was a landing strip for the Star Ship Enterprise. Not forgetting the
folks who have erected a ten-foot illuminated Santa outside a house at the top of Common
Lane.
All these Shannock folk have succeeded in adding that little bit of seasonal goodwill and
cheeriness in what could otherwise be construed as rather dark days and nights before
Christmas.
I do have one reservation though, stunning as it is, the house and windmill that is sited
at the junction of Holway Road and the Holt/Cromer Road, I think can seem somewhat of a
distraction, both to young and older drivers alike. Each year we have observed this
display growing larger and larger, I just feel that now I need to fetch out my sunglasses
whenever I approach the area in fear of being dazzled. A wonderful effort though, on what
is a very dark and dreary road, please keep it up. So, this season of goodwill to all men
is upon us and as the other half has reliably told me that also includes Auntie Maude and
the mother-in-law! |
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So as sure as night follows day we must go through the
rigmarole of New Year's resolutions. I for one would like to live to see our councillors
make a few themselves possibly including the following:
1: To ensure pension days at the post office is abolished thus eradicating the mile long
queue up the High Street from toy town.
2: To put in place a wait your turn regime in the doctor's surgery with no appointment
system.
3: For Sheringham folk to have a co-operative fracture clinic in the town clock, as some
of the pavements are now so bad it seems the only thing the town will have more than
anything else next year is folk with broken limbs.
4: A request for all the confiscated liquor taken off the youths illegally carrying it in
the no drinking zones to be delivered to me instead of the Town Hall where it seems more
than a few addled decisions have been made in recent times.
5: I'd like to make the ownership of 4x4 cars illegal especially during the school run and
in the summer holidays.
6: I'd like to see the punishment for toilet vandals be that they are given an ultra
strong dose of laxative and made to utilise the very loo they rendered useless and stole
all the toilet paper from in the first place.
7: I would like to see the installation of self locking phone booths that are triggered
off by people who urinate in them!
8: I would like to see on the spot car crushing machines for persistent selfish drivers.
Those who park across people's drives, who abandon their vehicles on the double yellows at
the narrow part of the north end of the High Street and who persistently park over the
white lines on the car park.
There, got that lot out of my system for this year. No doubt there'll be a few more to
come in the ensuing year ahead. Right I'm off for my hols now, but I shall keep my ears
and eyes open for all the gossip in the meantime. I sincerely hope you all have a fabulous
Yuletide and a great New Year's party. See you next year then. So until then take care.
Vic
Eds note: Little Theatre is now lit up, and very nice too!
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