Hello there dear readers.  And in the words of our dear friend jimmy Saville.   'Now then, now then, now then, goodness gracious me!"  And yes indeed gracious goodness might have been a quality that was ill afforded to me with the rather venomous, and somewhat personal written attack on me from a rather less than happy Easter bunny reader.  Well what can I say except I think it's time you took a chill pill.   Not only were they efficiently quick to chide the efforts of many an office worker, of which I am most definitely not one.  They accused me (or rather these office folk) of slander, but also inadvertently managing to slander me in the process.  Two things to say however immediately spring to mind, and they are "glass houses" and touché.  In fact the anonymous disgusted reader stated that they had never before been so incensed that they felt the need to personally complain.  I can't understand it.  Have they never read the Daily Mail before, or this column come to that! I think it's clear to see that the aforesaid mentioned was stuck in their office too busy with urgent matters of state and dealing with all this extra work force they speak of i.e. personnel, health and safety, public relations and area personnel.  Blimey it's no wonder the county's got little or no cash to go splashing around on fighting the great Tesco debate!  In fact I was sad to read in the same letter that the very lads who were laying the pavements were also the same ones who were supposed to be clearing our streets of snow, gritting the roads and making sure we don't endure the wrong sort of sunshine.  Heaven forbid we're allowed a little humour from time to time.  One thought though.  If the council can afford umpteen white-collar jobs in health and safety and personnel etc. etc., how is it they can't find enough cash to fund a few more road clearing jobs?  Instead of these lads having to go gritting the roads at all hours before they put in a hard day's graft.  And don't forget according to our disgusted reader, all this is taking place whilst everyone else is tucked up in their beds.  A little presumptuous me thinks and rather belittling of the hundreds of hard working self-employed and other folk out there who have to make an early start if only to avoid the chaos of the road works! And lets not forget all those of you who very rarely sleep in you own beds! Yes you know who you are!

Now to be honest I think there have been one or two events that really do warrant getting hot under the collar about.  I for one wish they'd put "grumpy old men" on earlier, now I might get a tad sweaty around my neck hole but I don't have a Paddy and go and throw me telly over the cliff!  Unlike the ungracious person and or persons who decided they would quite literally crucify our very own "Churches together" crucifixion cross by successfully defiling and lobbing it over the edge of the bump.   They might have know the only things to have nearly come a cropper over that cliff have been the odd microliting rabbit, small boys with big kites, and an old bulb planter of the two legged variety.  Now I don't want to besmirch the press and inflame any racial tensions or anything.  But imagine the coverage in the National press had the said same symbol had been a crescent!  Sheringham however would be safe though.   As I haven't ever seen a "Sheringham Flag" so the burning of that effigy would probably be impossible.  Now I'm only guessing of course.  If there is such an emblazoned emblem of this quintessential quaint little town, then we should have it flying on the town hall or at the very least a flagpole on top of the clock tower along with St. George's!  To my mind it should fly until the town falls into the hands of a woeful enemy or Scamrod.  Or even dear old May who has finally decided there is nothing else she can complain about and has handed in her resignation to the fishing sheds committee.  It could be said she had a word in the shell-likes before she left.   Never mind eh?  The actual display in the sheds is well worth a visit.   And for a couple of quid and a couple of minuets you'll be able to stare in awe at Peter Coke's collection.  And good on him.  At last the place seems to have a useful purpose other than an eyesore.  Unlike the other one of Sheringham's sights that were fit for sore eyes, and that was the wordswothy display of blooming yellow Hugh that greeted the natives and holidaying minions alike as we drive and or walk along the Weybourne road.  This year the carpet of daffs were a tribute to the Sheringham in bloom campaign.  Blooming marvellous!  And talking of Bloomers, I see that Barbara Barney has now called an end to trading.  No more wondrous uplifts and eighteen hours of lift and separation (well not unless one enlists the help of an enhancement plastic surgeon).  Yes this in the sad news that the ladies no longer have an outlet in the bosom of the town in which to cherish their endowments so to speak.   I'm sure you'll all agree the little shop will be missed.  Although as one shop closes others are soon to follow.  I can still remember it at as a bookies next to a greengrocers.  Oh well, perhaps Sheringham plus could expand?   Well that's about it for this time except to say I think Sheringham's answer to Palm beach is great.  It's just the reminder we all need that this year, following one of the driest winters ever, that we're all in for hose-pipe bans, bath with a friend nights and no illicit water games in the back yard all summer.  Happy day's, role on the time my garden turns to sand and I can enjoy renting out a deckchair or two to passing sightseers, offering coconut juice at £4.00 quid a glass on the cacti terrace.  Costa Del Sheringham here we come.  Take care now. Vic

RE-CAP OF THE READERS LETTER!

Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to an article in your Sheringham free paper, in particular 'hearsay'.  Never before have I been so incensed that I have felt the need to personally complain.  I refer particularly to the slanderous, ignorant abuse of the county council workmen who are repairing the pavements in Sheringham High Street.   Should 'Vic' ever get the chance to get off their typewriter from behind their cosy desk, in their nice warm office, maybe they would like to work alongside these men for the day and get some real experience of hard work.

At first I actually thought for once, that the public would give some gracious recognition for the hard work they do, but instead the workmen were totally slandered and most unfairly in my opinion.  The 'fellas' do not just 'clear orf' for a stiff drink, they were invited into P.H. premise for a cup of tea/coffee as they were working right outside and freezing cold!!!!.  The 'fellas' as you quote have to work in freezing conditions, have to take breaks in accordance with working time regulations, and have to follow stringent Health & Safety procedures.  I would also like to point out that while the majority of you are tucked up in bed, these men have also been out gritting and clearing your roads and then doing a full day's work also.  So a few late starts and early finishes are only taken to acommodate the winter maintenance routines.

The workmen involved have had to put up with a tirade of abuse directed at them, when actually it is the planners that should have the complaints they are the people responsible for making the decisions not the workmen.  They have had dogs urinating on their equipment, verbal abuse, and cars/lorries running through them, not a 'cushy' job as you quoted!

I would like to see your journalist trying to cut a flagstone by hand and make it fit!   There are a number of other council representatives who need to visit the site to ensure that the job is running to plan, who quite rightly may visit in the morning and then disappear, including Personnel, Health & Safety, Public relations and area personnel.

At the end of the day you should fell totally ashamed of yourselves, finding the time to ridicule hard working citizens working for the benefit of your town.  The town actually needs to continue to attract the 'third home owning, unappreciative visitors' as you describe them in order to maintain your local economy.

I hope the shop owners who have been very supportive in providing cups of tea and 'putting up' with the slight inconvenience also write in to counteract your totally ignorant, narrow minded views printed only with some hope of getting a 'laugh'.
Maybe 'Vic' would like to comment in person to these guys?  If so please contact me and I will arrange for you to spend some time with them, maybe a cup of tea?
Regards
Anonymous disgusted reader

READERS LETTER

Dear Vic

I'm writing in response to the anonymous disgusted reader who felt incensed to complain about your comments of the workmen in the High Street. Does he/she think it's only county council workmen who have jobs, which are hard work? And, why are you being blamed for the public not giving some gracious recognition, a tirade of verbal abuse directed at them, dogs urinating on their equipment and cars/lorries running through them?
Yours faithfully
Wayne King

CASH FOR CHANGE

Have you got an idea, which could improve the Norfolk Coast?  The new Sustainable Development Fund could help you make it a reality.  Small changes can make a big difference.  That's the thinking behind this fund set up for set up for the Norfolk Coast Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty (AONB).  Having just completed it's first year of operation the Sustainable Development Fund (SDF) has granted around £50,000 to projects in the area. 

From walks information leaflets to travel bursaries for children, from equipment for reed-cutters to restoring the grounds of historic buildings, the fund made real changes in 2005.  

Applications are now being sought for 2006.  Individual project grants can be worth anything from a few hundred to thousands of pounds.  AONB Officer Tim Venes said, "Ideas are warmly welcomed from individuals, local community groups and organisations.  This money is a great chance for the area to make things happen and we're looking forward to hearing from more people in the future." 

The aim of the fund supplied by DEFRA via the Countryside Agency is to support sustainable development projects that bring benefits to the Norfolk Coast AONB.  Sustainable development means living within environmental limits and ensuring a strong, healthy and just society.  The fund is designed to be easy to apply for and an administrator has been employed to help people through the process. 

A wide variety of projects can be considered, so long as they fulfil the criteria for the scheme.  Each application will be assessed by an expert panel to see how well it fits with the best applications being funded.  So if you've got an idea, big or small, Maree the fund administrator would love to hear from you on 01328 850530 maree.limpus@norfolk.gov.uk or check out our web site at www.norfolkcoastaonb.org.uk