HEAR'SAY

Hello Good Yuletide and welcome to this Christmas edition to everyone's favourite column: Hearsay.  And, with last month's edition, I can't get over the fact that I've been sat here, finger tappin' away for four years now (not continuously you understand, no, as that would be silly) but none the less four years.  How that time has flown not to mention the many hundreds of topics we (the queens we) have covered.  Some of which are still, can you believe, unresolved and ongoing to this very day, Budgens and the Norwich to North Norfolk railway link to name for example. In those early days of my slapstick humour and somewhat witty rapport, it was hard to imagine that I'd still be at it!  Well the writing at any rate!  But some things never change. Things like the onslaught of the Christmas rush, the rapturous joy as one watches the family teens rip open with glee all those cards with money in!  Giving, as they do from time to time a gratuitous grunt and an inaudible expletive of how tight great uncle somebody or other was.  Doesn't it make you feel good about the whole rigmarole?  Or not as the case may be.  Well here we are again.  Almost at the shortest day of the year, already?!  I can't get over it, I'm still only half way through my Easter eggs.  Of course the first thing most of us do in the panic up to the dreaded day is to rush out in search of inspiration as to what to get the loved one in your life and then something for the spouse.  Many of us turn to the city and the big department stores, some turn to the internet to get a gift costing a few quid on an auction site only to find you could have got it cheaper from Starlings by the time they added on the postage!  And others simply buy early as there's been plenty of choice from your friendly garden centre since the beginning of August to get you in the festive spirit of things. Selling everything from baubles to next season's petunias. They even have special gift-wrapped pots complete with compost, seeds, trowel and figurine of Santa and Bambi slumped over a snow-laden sign saying, "Merry Xmas started here".  Now I mustn't knock the holiday season really.  After all it is for some the only time a few of our flock get a chance to come down/over to North Norfolk to check up on the precious homes.  Oops investments.  Just to see if the punters have nicked any of the crockery during the season.  It forms part of a welcome break from their hard slogs in the Shires from where they run their lucrative holiday property let business.  Not forgetting our council still gives them discounts on these houses being of course, second homes.  Oh well they let us believe that it's their business that keeps us all going during the winter.  Yes possibly but doubtful.   It also means that anyone earning under 80 grand a year (tough going on the minimum wage around here as a holiday home cleaner) doesn't get a look in when it comes to getting a foot on the ladder.  Unless you're looking for a beach hut in which case there's about a fifty year wait so tough titties there.  Now I promised I wouldn't get all morbid, after all it is Christmas.  A time for love, receiving and the giving of gifts.  Even the town has had a few new blue bins.  Along with these we have had on display the new proposals for the restoration of the rail link.  The talk of new traffic flow direction and the pedestrian walk ways.  A tricky one that if the proposals are to block off Station Road. Just where on earth are the blue badge brigade going to abandon their vehicles then?  Of course, by then Budgens will be built on the car park.  Sheringham footie boys will be in the first division, Asda will be doing a great line in teach yourself how to fool your kids into eating junk food whilst not knowing it and B & Q will be doing a great line in DIY "stocks for the family kits" buy two get one free for your community and or school!  Hooray for forward thinking!  What a wonderful utopia that would be.  A vision of the future, where it would be ok to be large; accepted into the culture that it's ok to tell a five year old child throwing crisps about in Morrisons he's actually being naughty without being sued or charged with mental cruelty!