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HEAR'SAY
Hello again people. This week I have entitled this issue's
hearsay, THREE LITTLE WORDS! And they are location, regurgitation and rejuvenation. |
To explain, firstly, location
means Sheringham and district. Regurgitation, the uprooting and educating of extinct,
obsolete thinking practices and time warped trapped people. Rejuvenation means the rebirth
and revamp of same, decaying lame and crippled ideology that stifles the controlled
development and growth the new generation needs for continuation. After all, variety is
supposed to be the spice of life.
Powerful and deep words, And perhaps ever so slightly cynical I hear you mutter and you'd
be right. But moving swiftly on. I have noticed at last some building work starting, or
rather some demolition work starting at the Cremer Street garages. Does this mean those
long promised houses and bungalows will be with us shortly? I guess nearly 20 years of
waiting isn't bad in "Norfolk Time" (about as long as a non-urgent wait for a
doctor's appointment is now). With all this creativity here, it got me thinking. Perhaps
they know things that we don't, about the town's future development. For example: In the
light of Cromer's recent European funding for an extravagant rebuild of their sea front
and traffic management schemes; so as not to be left behind (as usual) I would like to
further advance my proposed ideas for the restructuring of Sheringham continued from Issue
No.1.
In view of the fact that Cromer may well be the "Gem" of the North Norfolk
Coast. Then surely, gently co-axed in the right direction and with a nice full chest of
Euros from the European commission for culture, Sheringham, should, and could become North
Norfolk's "Jewel in the Crown".
Let's think about it for a moment. On top of the harbour ideas (Issue 1) let's export our
thoughts to the/our Seafront and beyond. In fact in some parts of the town, unnecessary
pavement work is already partially completed, leaving residents of the pot-holed and
bunkered Common Lane somewhat shaken if not stirred every time they venture into the town.
That's ok for any overdue expectant mothers to be, in the hope that a few jolts might
expedite delivery. For the rest of us however, the experience of driving over these
conditions, leaves us with shattered spinal discs and sciatica. I guess that's why the lad
drove his car into someone's front room over New Year in Holway Road. He thought it was
safer to drive on the pavements. I expect with the speed he was going, he thought he was
still in Common Lane. Actually in all fairness, Holway Road has just been resurfaced and
this must be phase one of the "Master Plan" to titivate the town to entice the
visitors' back time and time again.
So what else could we do? Well how about an open area (left by the demolishing of the
Lockerbie flats in preparation for the unmentionable) left for the use of a small
garden/park, and installed in the middle of this area could be a set of wooden stocks! For
the exclusive usage by those first time offenders who effortlessly it seems, evade any
form of punishment or retribution from society or law courts. Disgruntled members of the
community or residents who suffer injustice and/or noise nuisance from neighbours from
hell, could get great satisfaction from pelting such villains with the rich pickings
collected from the left over fruit and rotten veg. stalls off the car park floor after the
Saturday market. People who fire air guns at passers-by could have their buttocks painted
into a bull's eye and folk could hurl frost hardened sprouts until they promised never to
do it again! Moreover, the land could be expanded to include a children's park and
fairground, incorporating a paddle-boat lake
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and a crazy golf course to
replace the one they took away from us on the Lees. Oh what joy! Old fishermen could
re-enact and retort the hauling in of the pots and nets in the days when there was
actually something to catch. We could have a narrow gauge railway running the length of
the seafront ending at a helter-skelter built on top of the lifeboat station. Thus saving
a lengthy trip through the town from any rich folk's golfing caddies on lost ball finding
duties. To keep bottle-throwing low life away from the seafront and other sensitive parts
of the town day or night: Pleasantly volumetric classical opera music could be
appropriately played from loud speakers set high in the cliffs and from the cctv camera
posts. Anyone under a certain age would not be able withstand such an "uncool"
pastime and would immediately retire to new pastures.
On the Hillbrough site we could build a ten-pin bowling alley adjoining a nightclub with
casino facilities and whilst we're about it, why not add for the more mature, an adult
play club with shop and courtesans in the vain perusal of keeping any "strays"
off the streets. All licensed and regularly medically checked of course. We could have for
our cultural delights, Macdonald's and Thai restaurants, also an arcade of "young
people's shops" such as circa 2003 fashionable clothes, shoe and music outlets.
Not forgetting those who are of less purity, another "Bookies" or turf
accountant for those unfamiliar to the term. Further on we could have a cottage hospital
where people of Sheringham could actually get an X-ray or have a blood test taken on site,
instead of having to travel to Cromer and beyond to Norwich! (The vets and dentists manage
it, why can't the local GP practice)? And in the summer on the beach, between the harbour
and the pier with lighthouse, we could have all those redundant fishermen parading donkeys
up and down to earn a living. No EC quotas here yet, just a lot of asses!
Sound appealing? I hope so. Just imagine it, I can't wait and .just think before long we
could have a helicopter and ayrport and a tube station along the Weybourne Road. Maybe by
then the cemetery will truly be the dead centre of the town. Hopefully granted with full
access at all hours! Go on, let's one and all write to our governing bodies, big business'
and European colleagues to demand these things and the money we deserve. After all if they
can give it to Cromer anybody's in with a chance.
Well that's it for this week. More on Sheringham's shoppers star rating guide next time.
Be good.
Vic.
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told you they wanted to be "nicked" |
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