HEAR'SAY

Yes folks it's my 70th edition of Hearsay and it's beginning to make me feel as old as Father Time himself, or at least Father Christmas.  Well it's finally here.  Well almost - the big day.   So to put you all in the right frame of mind, as this time the goings on around town were about as sparse as an idea in Jane Goodies brain box I thought that, for a change I'd compose a little something seasonal for you all to enjoy.  In fact the dearth of news this time is somewhat scary.  I must be losing my touch.  I guess it's down to the quiet period that the town has endured during the last two weeks in November and to some extent the first couple in December too.  I imagine everyone's gone to see Santa in the Mall in Norwich.  After all if you ask anyone who's experienced that in the past, they'll tell you that it takes about a fortnight to run that gauntlet.  You know it's been that quiet, even the double yellow lines have had free spaces!  Never mind though I suspect by the time this article is published, you'll all be wondering just what in the world was I going on about?

Ah, Christmas!  Yes Christmas is a time for good cheer and goodwill to all men, women and teenagers.  So please spare a thought this "Caroltide" for all the poor drunken specimens of all ages, sexes and don't know yets.  As at this time of year many good folk tend to get highly spirited or bladdered as the colloquial term is now phrased, on any, and I or everything that comes in a recyclable vessel.  My advice to anyone approaching said creature in the above state would be to either give them a to metre wide berth, otherwise known as the vomit projectile line, or better still in fact don't approach them at all unless armed with a plastic bowl and a Souwester!   Hopefully the behaviour this year may well be avoided if the legal 24/7 drinking sprees are still in operation by this time.  After all if the drinking punters consume copious amounts of the masculine "esque" hard stuff (i.e. fizzy fruit flavoured vodka) propped up at the bar, maybe, just maybe, that's where they'll end up for the night.  On the floor at the bar of their local boozer.  Breakfast an optional extra!

Anyway as I was saying before I went off on a tangent, as I so often do.  I hope you enjoy the following:

'Twas the night (almost) before Christmas and all through the town,
Nowt much was glowing 'cept some cheeks at the Crown.
The shops were a picture; Twinkling lights were all a glare,
Especially the Top Club with that forest on theirs.
I have never espied such displays of good cheer,
From the High Street, the cafes, and pubs with fine fare.
Everyone worked so hard down the street,
To make the light switch on for children a treat.
What a shame that a few just couldn't be bothered,
And then some that did switched them off as I hovered
Around closing time so I felt very sad,
That visitors at night might get a bit mad.
When they see that a few had left their lights dark,
Without them our Christmas doesn't have the same spark.
But our two Christmas trees by the clock and the green,
Are a spectacle that angels would have liked to have seen.
The theatre so pretty and colourful too,
'Spect Steads would've done same
If they'd worn 'tother shoe!
Now to move swiftly on if not to coin phrase,
There's not been much on around town for some days,